A few of you have asked for the skinny on “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief,” an upcoming family fantasy flick based on a popular series of young adult lit novels. The two second lowdown is this: the novels center around the titular hero, a young boy who discovers a couple of shocking things at once: a) the Greek gods and monsters are all real, and b) he’s the son of Poseidon. Using clever updates of the classic myths—like Olympus being located on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building—the novels put a modern twist on the classic stories.
Boom.
Now the movie is something else. The director is Chris Columbus, who handled the first two “Harry Potter” flicks. He’s not consistently loved, and with good reason: although talented, his style comes across like a watered down Spielberg. I’m pretty sure the best movie in his catalog is “Home Alone 2,” so take that into consideration. The screenwriter is also dubious, he’s responsible for venerable works like “Cheaper by the Dozen” and “Scooby Doo.” Not thrilling stuff. That said, the trailers look punchy and interesting, and the source material isn’t bad, so do what you have to do, Dear Reader.
Fortunately, my saintly wife happens to be reading “The Lightning Thief” at this very moment. She’s enjoying it quite a bit I think, so in a first-time exclusive for this blog, I’ve invited her to write a guest spot with her own analysis. Take it away, my love!
Corelyn: It’s a good book, I like it a lot. Fun for the whole family. It’s missing something, though, and I can’t put my finger on what it is. No wait, I know: the Batmobile. It just needs a Batmobile. I mean, I’ve noticed that’s a deficiency of Shakespeare’s, too. Where’s the Batplane, huh, Bard? I don’t consider anything classic until a character with a cape and mask growls “I am the night” and vanishes into a darkened cityscape. I must go now, to read more Batman comic books. Andrew is the greatest man alive. Goodbye.
Well, you heard it folks!
…
What? Why are you looking at me like that, Dear Reader?
Okay, I have a confession: that was not Corelyn, but I’m pretty sure that’s what she would have said if she wasn’t asleep right now. I mean, you have to admit you were seeing double with that impersonation. It’s okay to be impressed. A few other tidbits and I’ll get out of your hair:
-”The Last Airbinder” looks…er…good. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but I saw the Super Bowl spot and liked it. Not bad work. I mean that’s what I said about the trailer for “The Village,” so who the hell knows, but maybe ol’ M. Night Shamwow (as Penny Arcade dubbed him) has finally stopped drinking crazy juice. Maybe.
-They’re considering making a new “Shadow” movie with Sam Raimi at the helm. Please Lord, yes. Please. The original “Shadow” remake was my first PG-13 cinematic experience, which was notable because I was only about 8 at the time. I was escorted by Brady, who winningly intervened on my behalf with mom and dad, went with me to see it, and bought my ticket. I love my brother. It was the perfect leap into adult waters: scary without being too violent, sexy without being too raunchy, dark without being twisted, and fun without being too stupid. I spent the whole running time glued to my seat, alternating between terrified and overjoyed. It is to this day one of the best experiences I’ve had in a movie. I know Sam Raimi was bummed he couldn’t direct it back then, so I’m sure he’s eager for another shot. Here’s hoping he gets it.
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