So it’s been a while, and I know that. My humblest apologies, Dear Reader, these things take time to write and when school starts up, time is what you often do not have. There is much to discuss, especially in the world of entertainment, so without further ado let’s get into bulleted pontifications:
-“Avatar” Implications. Poppy asked me in a recent comment what my thoughts were on the scandals that are brewing around “Avatar,” specifically concerning its depiction of the US Military and the somewhat Twin-Towers-y tree getting knocked down. I find the reactions to “Avatar” fascinating, because it seems to have offended a wide array of people for different reasons. Some people get uncomfortable with the armed forces being the bad guys, some people take issue with the “racist” notion of the white man taking over and “saving” a tribal community. To me, these myriad reactions tell me that Cameron did his job. I don’t think “Avatar” says anything racist about indigenous peoples, and I don’t think it’s anti-military either, I just think it’s a provocative motion picture. People come out of it with their emotions all tied up in knots, maybe more so than they were expecting when they went in, so they…react to what they saw. They look for an interpretation, and some people come up with being offended. Nonetheless, I will individually respond to both ends of the spectrum in the film’s defense:
-It’s racist. Farthest possible thing from the truth, and of the two poles, this is the weaker one. Yes, Jake Sully manages to become a leader in the Na’vi society, and yes he leads them to a victory they otherwise would not have achieved, but it takes a desperate stretch to come out with only those facts. It’s important to remember that Jake is only able to take command after he absorbs the Na’vi influence completely. Jake’s super-power, if you could call it that, is his predisposition for being Na’vi, not his capacity for subjugating their culture into his. The whole point of the movie is that these indigenous aliens have a more meaningful way of life than humanity does. The whole movie is a big, tearful apology to Native Americans (too little, too late, but oh well), so I think charges of racism are absurd.
-It’s anti-military. This is a much, much more substantial claim. There’s no question that “Avatar” is second only to “Full Metal Jacket” in its harsh depiction of armed forces psychology. Nonetheless, I find the movie to be tasteful in its approach for several reasons. First of all, any responsible citizen must acknowledge that war is a heinous thing, and sometimes that gets the better of us. American and world history both confirm behavior that is almost identical to the soldiers on Pandora, and while I’ll be the first to sing praises to our armed forces, we should not pretend that the things depicted in “Avatar” are impossible. Furthermore, given that most of the good guys in the movie are also warriors by trade, a more responsible reading of the movie’s message is probably that it’s a cautionary tale about human nature, not the American military.
And also, as a side note, I know many conservative people, and none of them have complained about this.
-Leno and Conan. I imagine Jeff Zucker is sitting behind his desk right now thinking, “They pay me to avoid this exact situation.” And they do. They pay him a lot for this to not happen. You of course know my feelings about Conan O’Brien, Dear Reader, so I feel no need to comment on that besides pointing out that I’m proud of how he’s handled this. He’s worked too long and too hard to accept second-tier again, he’s smart enough to know it would mean the end of his career. I also think Jay Leno has really seen this blow up in his face; I don’t know how involved he was in any of the recent decisions, but he sure as hell is taking flak for it. Leno is one of those guys who survived on affability and not offending anyone, so once you put him in a controversial situation, he rots like a hollow pumpkin and people turn against him.
As for Conan, this may yet work out in his favor. For one thing, his supporters (like me) have always been a die-hard bunch, almost frightening in our devotion, and given the media spotlight, we can do some serious converting. Career-wise, I’ve always thought Letterman got it right: build your reputation, then use your name to forge your own territory. I’m no expert, but O’Brien deserves no less, and if Fox really is interested I think he should do it. Make it happen, homes. One thing’s for darn sure: I want my Conan. I want him. If I don’t see that guy in a nice suit doing the string dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LipZTMpkuX8&feature=related), I’m not going to be pleased.
-“Spider Man 4″ Bites It. One of the most surprising turns of events in the past few months, “Spidey 4″ finally collapsed under the weight of script disagreements. I’d heard grumblings that Raimi hated the new script, but he’d repeatedly assured everyone he was doing another one, so I assumed they’d work it out; they even had John Malkovich tapped to play Vulture (side note: Spider Man has an unremarkable rogue’s gallery). Instead, the thing collapsed, and Sony is now firing through plans for a reboot. I’ve long maintained that American audiences don’t like the 4th movie in a series; we only tolerate them when there’s been a long time since the 3rd. We think in trilogies, we write in trilogies, and we don’t know how to categorize our expectations for a third sequel. Personally, I think “Spider Man 3″ was awful enough to warrant an implosion, and there’s no question that everything was beginning to feel a bit stiff anyway.
But a reboot? Already? I know you guys want to make money, but you’ve got “Iron Man” holding you down, maybe you should let Spidey rebuild some mystique before you hit us again. Mark my words, you’re not going to make as much money as you think you will, because too many people are going to be confused and decide they don’t care enough to see it. And unlike the “Batman” series, this isn’t going to be a really distinctive reboot. It can’t be, you don’t change something that’s still working. The scuttlebutt I’ve heard is that Sony wants to amp up the “teen” angle, which sounds suspiciously like trying to turn the Webcrawler into freaking “Twilight.” The rumored director, Marc Webb, is the man behind the extremely great “500 Days of Summer,” but he’s still a terrible choice. Why, you ask? Because Hollywood producers like to hire guys who will do edgy things, and then stop them from actually doing them. It’s a classic habit: they bring you on for your provocative choices, then demand you stifle those instincts. They seek talent and profit at the same time without ever considering the inherent contradiction therein. There’s a great scene in “Barton Fink” where a Hollywood exec hires the titular scribe to write him a screenplay with that “Barton Fink” feel, and then when he doesn’t like the results, insists that he can get a hundred writers to give him the “Barton Fink” feel.
The same is true here. They’re going to hire Marc Webb for that cool, “indie” flavor, and then the moment he has an unusual idea they will step on his testicles. Not that I entirely blame them; can they really trust this guy to shoot them an action scene? Nope. Why not get a seasoned pro like Martin Campbell, someone not daunted by special effects or action sequences? Of course I suspect the answer to my own question: these guys want a puppet. I get the feeling Webb is a fresh enough talent that he won’t want to throw his weight around on set, and the producers will feel like they’ve got a guy they can control. This is terrible news for the audiences, because when a producer de facto directs a movie, it’s always terrible. There’s a reason some people are just producers.
-”The Red Baron” trailer is an embarrassment. Seriously, did someone mess up the transfer or something? I have never heard such poorly mixed sound on a professional movie trailer. Ever. And also, whoever the dude is playing the lead character, the editing on the trailer is incredibly unflattering to him. The dogfights look reasonably well executed, but man those stretches of dialogue are hurtful. Ouch.
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