I recently acquired maybe the best thing ever invented. It’s a strategy game called “Rogue Planet,” and it is played on my iPod touch. The player is perched in a bird’s eye view over a massive battle, and asked to coordinate the tactics of one side against the other. Imagine “Risk” combined with chess, you’ve pretty much got how this game plays out. Except it has robots and aliens, which instantly makes it better than either one. There are dozens of different vehicle and infantry types, multiple game modes, tons of different encounters, and each battle requires precise organization of resources, manpower, and tactical advantage. It’s not your daddy’s iPod game.
Anyway, the point is, this technological marvel allows me to engage in strategic warfare at my convenience: on the bus, on the metro, on the go in general. It’s not some stupid Pong knock off, this is a deep, robust combat simulator, where you get to be the general. I’ve learned the hard way that shouting excerpts from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” at my iPod while walking down Wilshire Blvd is not socially acceptable behavior. I persist nonetheless. Here is a thorough list of things I am prone to shouting while playing the game:
-”What the enemy commander doesn’t realize, and never will, is that…”
-”They’ll be studying that one at West Point next year!”
-”I served with your father, soldier. He was a good man. He’d be proud of you today.”
-”We few, we happy few, we band of brothers!”
-”The art of war is deception. And also robots. Robots help.”
-”Face me, you coward!”
-”Hah! The (name of a formation, often nonsensical)! How predictable.”
-”Your soldiers are hired guns. Mine would follow me into hell!”
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