What? Don’t Judge Me!

So I went into my local Gamestop and pre-ordered “Batman: Arkham Asylum” today. I did it because of course I did, who did you think you were talking to here? It’s not like there was any escape. The odd thing is, I still remain the most skeptical consumer of the product that I know, everyone else seems totally jazzed. While I don’t mean to suggest that I am somehow not jazzed, the inevitability of my ownership of this game does permit me a certain clarity of focus about it. Freed from any debate about the investment, I can kind of gaze upon the thing that will soon become a part of my life. And through my merciless stare, I see that I am holding my breath. I am not confident that this will be a masterpiece, no matter how badly I would like it to be. I’m not sure why I can’t shake that feeling.

I think I’m remembering “Madworld,” the gruesome little hellian of a Wii game that I owned a few months ago, and played all the way through. Like “Arkham,” it was replete with a dazzling art style, voice talent, and attitude. It had all the right ingredients, and for a brief time it was really something, but the combat system was too simple and it wore itself out. I had to push myself to the game’s conclusion. And it’s not like I had a bad time, but when you compare it to the knots tied in your stomach after a level of “Ninja Gaiden,” you have nothing to say. And now that I know that “Arkham’s” combat system consists of literally two buttons, I just cannot shake the fear that the same thing will happen. Two buttons? How does no one else think that’s just too simple? Where will the depth come from?

Still, as I said before, they have more than earned their money from me, and I have little doubt that the franchise will be done proud for basically the first time. I think what I’m really paying for is the encouragement of repeating this process, of taking the Dark Knight and reverently slapping him into the gaming world. More than I even want the game to be good, I want the people with money to know that I will put out for this IP. I want them to see big, fat dollar signs on those pointy ears, so they will go write a blank check to a very good production team. After that, the sky’s the limit, because there’s six decades’ worth of fiction built around the damned character, and he drives the coolest car in the freaking world. If you can’t make a video game out of those two facts alone, you shouldn’t even be in the business.

I also reserved “Left 4 Dead 2.” Eat it, boycotters.