Pontifications!

Hello, beloved reader. I feel like updating, but have nothing in particular to talk about, so brace yourself for yet another edition of Pontifications!

-I saw about 3/4s of “The Unborn,” and what I saw sucked. Due to time commitments elsewhere, I did not stick with this one to the credits, but I did get through the vast majority, and I can tell you that it was pitiful. What the hell has happened to David S Goyer? This guy was behind the first two “Blade” movies (not Shakespeare by any means, but well-done for what they were), “Dark City,” he even laid the creative groundwork for “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight.” None of his has prevented him from crafting three straight dive-bombing failures: “Blade: Trinity” (which even he has admitted was awful), “The Invisible” (I did not see it, but I never heard a single good thing), and now this. I want to like this man, I always get the sense he’s one of the good guys out there in Hollywood. But David, dude, you have got to step your game up, or you’re going to lose my support.

-Cranberry Juice is disgusting. I tried some the other morning, thinking it would more or less mesh with my general fondnesss for juices. Instead, I was greeted by a tart, unpleasant, almost sanguine sensation in my mouth. Clearly, not everything that grows in the Earth is meant to be “juiced.” When merged with more agreeable partners to create such masterpieces as cran-grape, which is nothing less than ambrosial, cranberry juice finds a niche. But on its own, gross.

-The letter ‘C’ is useless. It does not make any sound that isn’t already covered by ‘K’ or ‘S,’ and putting an ‘H’ after it so you can pronounce it however you want does not count. The English language–giant, nonsensical beast that it is–is riddled with loose ends, but I think this letter is the most glaring of such metaphorical appendixes. There’s no getting rid of it now, I suppose; we’re all use to the thing, and my wife’s rather gorgeous name begins with it. I’m just saying, don’t let ‘C’ give you any crap, because it’s dead weight.

-Who knew Gary Oldman was likable? Certainly he didn’t. He’d been carving out a niche as psychopaths and bad guys in films like “The Professional” and “The Fifth Element,” to say nothing of “JFK” and “Dracula.” Gary must have decided crazy people was just his thing, and he was cool with that, because God knows Hollywood needs good crazies. Then all of a sudden he found himself playing the unendingly adored Sirius Black in the “Harry Potter” films, and noble cop Jim Gordon in Nolan’s “Batman” series, and he’s been nailing it. Little did we all know he could project such sincerity and warm, that he could make us love him in the blink of an eye. I mean, you remember “The Dark Knight,” Jim Gordon was the man!

The dude’s got a whole new career ahead of him now, he can basically be cast as anything. He’s always been a chameleon, disappearing entirely behind his characters, but now he’s got the whole spectrum on his resume. Oldman must be sitting in an office with his agent, shrugging and saying, “Who knew?”

-Video games are an art form. Just in case any of you were debating this in your minds, they are. If e e cummings can be called “art” just by adopting an aversion to capitalization, then complex, three-dimensional worlds that blur the line between artist and observer sure as hell get to enter the pantheon. There was probably a period of time where video games were not capable of carrying ideas, serious aesthetic choices, or emotional resonance, but no longer. Like cinema, gaming has evolved into a full-fledged venue of human expression, a non-literalist place to discuss ideas, share creativity, and learn about one another. “Art,” of course, can never be defined with total accuracy, it exists in a kind of abstract way in our minds. I respect the desire to keep meaningless shenanigans from abusing this ambiguity and parading around as justifiably “artistic,” but targeting video games on this charge has no basis. These things, and the people who make them, deserve respect.